Friday, August 1, 2008

Update on the silly friend’s love life

He turned up to their last date and apologized for his appearance, saying he hadn’t been home yet. This was at noon on a Sunday. She threw out a few snarky comments about the previous evening, obviously fishing for details or, even better, denials. However, it was perfectly obviously he’d been banging some other girl all night, and he wanted her to know this. Just to mess with her further he began to flirt with her even more obviously than usual, including hand-stroking, playful shoulder shoving and standing indecently close behind her in line for the coffee they went for after lunch. She came home afterwards in a daze, high on sexual frustration and misplaced excitement, convinced even further that things were progressing well.
At the suggestion that she could, well, ask him what the fuck was going on (or even, at a pinch, whether he was actually single) she all but punched me in the mouth. She ‘doesn’t want to rush things’ (this from the girl who has been wondering if he would get on with her mother) and she is ‘worried she’ll scare him off’ (damn good job in my opinion). Clearly she isn’t actually sure, is terrified of rejection and the manipulative little shit knows this.
If I’m wrong I’ll be happy for her. No, really. I’ll even go to the wedding.

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